PR Fail

My reading comprehension skills are failing me. I can't for the life of me figure out this email, other than that someone wants me to write about something. The thought process that resulted in this piece of PR drivel  is way beyond me, though. Maybe my friends and readers can figure it out. Once again, my own comments are in red.

Hi Gaia, (at least she got my name right)
It’s Father’s Day again and you might be thinking how you should reward yourself for the years of dedication and hard work that you have put into your family.(Because obviously I'm not only a man but also a father)
Take a quick look in the mirror and you might realize that the greasy hamburgers, genetics, and extra beers have left your body in need of a little TLC. (Why, thank you. My vegetarian no-drinking self might forgive this. My mother? not so much)
So what to do? It’s not that you haven’t been to the gym, but nothing can hide the fact that you still suffer from cellulite and a little extra flab that didn’t used to reside on your thighs and stomach.(I'm about ready to cry)
It’s Father’s Day and you deserve to treat yourself to what you really want; a body that more closely resembles the one you had 10 years ago. This is where [our wonderful product] comes into play, offering a perfect solution to a less than perfect dilemma. (Still haven't figured out how my deteriorating girly figure fits in with Father's Day. Maybe I'll ask my dad)
[blah blah blah about how diet, exercise and cosmetics products don't work]
We have partnered with several top physicians in the area and would love to coordinate an interview. Please let me know if you would like any additional information at clueless@prcompany.com or 1-800-fail
Best,
Clueless

Bloggers get all kind of weird to unintentionally hilarious emails from PR people who have absolutely no clue. Despite popular belief, I don't usually use this space to roast them good and well, but this email was too  much. My comments are in red.

Subject: Blogging Opportunity - Unleash Your Inner Blonde with *****
Hi Mónica! (Seriously? A copy & paste fail)
With summer just around the corner I thought you might be interested in learning more about the most requested color in salons: Blonde! (looking up at the name and title of my blog. How in the world did I miss that?)
Blondes are always in high demand (Sure. Rub it in a little more) – it’s the number one requested hair color in salons, representing more than 50% of all color services! (I'm not only a brunette, I also don't get things the first time I read them) Blondes are in high demand because the color rarely occurs in nature and correlates with youthfulness (because we all turn brunette as we age), and now *****  is making sure the most desirable hair color is obtainable for every woman with its two newest color services:
(boring description of Most! Awesome! Product! Ever!  It! Will! Make! You! Blonde!)
If you’re interested in learning more about going blonde and these new products from ***** to share with the readers, let me know! (Obviously. I'm crafting a request for samples as we speak)
I’m working on behalf of ***** to get the word out about their latest and greatest offerings – so if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! (And you're doing a mighty fine job, honey)
Thanks!
**** Poor PR Person

Community Ambassador (which means someone is paying for this fine job)


******
Social Media Marketing (Having an email account a does not a social media expert make)

Seriously?