You know what I really hate?! I really hate getting into arguments with my husband. It’s such a rarity that we do fight and of course we have our moments where we bicker or annoy each other or push each other’s buttons, but I just HATE fighting with him….
Our marriage is not perfect, but it’s a wonderful marriage (now almost 8 months in). **Little bit of a sidetrack here – but I CANNOT believe that we’ve been married for almost 8 months. THAT is crazy. That is almost one whole year!** Anyway, unlike a traditional marriage where the husband and wife live together, our marriage right now is the opposite. Luckily we spent (just about) four wonderful months living together in Washington, DC and as you know, since November 1st we’ve been living apart. (No, I don’t talk about this very much on my blog because I don’t like to get into too many details, but some days, like today, I just want to journal about it).
We made the decision together that I would take this job in New York City and that M. would continue to live and work in Washington, DC. It was a tough decision and I’m sure not all of you would agree that it was a smart decision, but it was the right decision for us. That decision meant that I had the opportunity to work for my dream company and despite having hard days at work I am thankful every single day for the fact that - 1. I have an amazing husband and family that loves me, 2. I actually am employed (there are still many who are not) 3. Because of the decision we made together (our first REALLY big decision as a married couple), I was able to have this dream of mine come true.
It hasn’t been easy living apart. Some weeks are better than others. Sometimes it’s easy to chat away on the phone and sometimes with the stress of both of our jobs and hard days or bad days with our bosses or whatever it may be, the phone conversations don’t come as easily. Of course we’ve spent every weekend together and we did have that entire period of time off together during Christmas, but what a crazy way to be during your first year of marriage! Waiting up late every Friday night for your husband to come “home” and every Sunday evening getting upset over the fact that he had to leave again. And can you even imagine what HE must be going through?! Every Friday after a long day of work having to make the drive from Washington, DC to NYC and every Sunday evening having to leave his wife to make the long drive from NYC to DC?! How about not feeling like you really have a place to call “home?!” When we lived in DC together (even before we were married) I remember M. said to me one day, “…this is the first time that I really feel like when I come into an apartment that it actually feels like home” (referring to the fact that ever since the start of his undergraduate years all the way through the end of law school he was moving every year or so to a new place). That made me feel really good inside because I assumed that he wasn’t just talking about the apartment, but he was also just talking about our life together.
So last night we had a bit of an argument (no I don’t need to go into details with anyone and yes everything is OK), but what I really hate is the “morning after” the argument. I completely hate the feeling. I know that everything will always be OK between us because we’re committed to one another and will always work things out no matter what, but doesn’t the morning after an argument really suck (pardon my language)?! I mean, what’s worse is that I can’t even give him a hug/ we can’t comfort each other because we’re apart – I think that sucks even more. Like most women I like to feel like I have closure on things and let me just tell you – being apart and fighting is the easiest way to feel like there isn’t closure.
So I did what I could this morning to feel OK about everything and I hoped that M. was feeling OK about everything too. I smiled when I slipped on my wedding rings because it just reminded me of our commitment and our love for one another. I put on a pretty dress (pink of course – one that I literally haven’t worn in FOREVER and I’m so glad that I did put it on today because I feel fabulous) for work and slipped on a pair of heels. Took one look at myself in the mirror and decided that today I would put on the perfume that I wore on our wedding day. When I decided I wanted that perfume to wear on my wedding day I knew that I would wear it for all of our special occasions together. Today is obviously not a special occasion, it’s just another Thursday in the office, but as crazy as it might sound, putting on that perfume from that beautiful pink and gold bottle and breathing in the floral fragrance brings back amazing and wonderful memories of our very special day, the day that I knew would come after our third date together. It again just reinforces the fact that I know that we’re in this together and that even if our feelings are at a low for just a moment, they can be instantly, absolutely amazing the next -- Funny how a perfume can do that.
I know you’re going to read this M. and I just want to tell you again how much I love you.
Our marriage is not perfect, but it’s a wonderful marriage (now almost 8 months in). **Little bit of a sidetrack here – but I CANNOT believe that we’ve been married for almost 8 months. THAT is crazy. That is almost one whole year!** Anyway, unlike a traditional marriage where the husband and wife live together, our marriage right now is the opposite. Luckily we spent (just about) four wonderful months living together in Washington, DC and as you know, since November 1st we’ve been living apart. (No, I don’t talk about this very much on my blog because I don’t like to get into too many details, but some days, like today, I just want to journal about it).
We made the decision together that I would take this job in New York City and that M. would continue to live and work in Washington, DC. It was a tough decision and I’m sure not all of you would agree that it was a smart decision, but it was the right decision for us. That decision meant that I had the opportunity to work for my dream company and despite having hard days at work I am thankful every single day for the fact that - 1. I have an amazing husband and family that loves me, 2. I actually am employed (there are still many who are not) 3. Because of the decision we made together (our first REALLY big decision as a married couple), I was able to have this dream of mine come true.
It hasn’t been easy living apart. Some weeks are better than others. Sometimes it’s easy to chat away on the phone and sometimes with the stress of both of our jobs and hard days or bad days with our bosses or whatever it may be, the phone conversations don’t come as easily. Of course we’ve spent every weekend together and we did have that entire period of time off together during Christmas, but what a crazy way to be during your first year of marriage! Waiting up late every Friday night for your husband to come “home” and every Sunday evening getting upset over the fact that he had to leave again. And can you even imagine what HE must be going through?! Every Friday after a long day of work having to make the drive from Washington, DC to NYC and every Sunday evening having to leave his wife to make the long drive from NYC to DC?! How about not feeling like you really have a place to call “home?!” When we lived in DC together (even before we were married) I remember M. said to me one day, “…this is the first time that I really feel like when I come into an apartment that it actually feels like home” (referring to the fact that ever since the start of his undergraduate years all the way through the end of law school he was moving every year or so to a new place). That made me feel really good inside because I assumed that he wasn’t just talking about the apartment, but he was also just talking about our life together.
So last night we had a bit of an argument (no I don’t need to go into details with anyone and yes everything is OK), but what I really hate is the “morning after” the argument. I completely hate the feeling. I know that everything will always be OK between us because we’re committed to one another and will always work things out no matter what, but doesn’t the morning after an argument really suck (pardon my language)?! I mean, what’s worse is that I can’t even give him a hug/ we can’t comfort each other because we’re apart – I think that sucks even more. Like most women I like to feel like I have closure on things and let me just tell you – being apart and fighting is the easiest way to feel like there isn’t closure.
So I did what I could this morning to feel OK about everything and I hoped that M. was feeling OK about everything too. I smiled when I slipped on my wedding rings because it just reminded me of our commitment and our love for one another. I put on a pretty dress (pink of course – one that I literally haven’t worn in FOREVER and I’m so glad that I did put it on today because I feel fabulous) for work and slipped on a pair of heels. Took one look at myself in the mirror and decided that today I would put on the perfume that I wore on our wedding day. When I decided I wanted that perfume to wear on my wedding day I knew that I would wear it for all of our special occasions together. Today is obviously not a special occasion, it’s just another Thursday in the office, but as crazy as it might sound, putting on that perfume from that beautiful pink and gold bottle and breathing in the floral fragrance brings back amazing and wonderful memories of our very special day, the day that I knew would come after our third date together. It again just reinforces the fact that I know that we’re in this together and that even if our feelings are at a low for just a moment, they can be instantly, absolutely amazing the next -- Funny how a perfume can do that.
I know you’re going to read this M. and I just want to tell you again how much I love you.
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